Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Society • BREAKING! Council Votes Against Famed Hens

Their goose is cooked. Henny and Penny learned last night that The Brentwood City Council voted against them staying in their home. The famed hens did not attend the meeting. The final vote by Erick Stonebarger, who was absent during the Janurary 26th hearing which ended in a tie, sealed the fate of the chickens, not only them, but the fate of all chickens. Ms. X the neighbor who first complained actually was there and emphased that “chickens poop 1000 times a day (?) and if one had three chickens, that adds up to 3000 pounds of chicken poop each and every day which is not acceptable in good neighborhoods,” saith she. 3000 pounds is a lot of ...ah never mind!  A last ditch effort to prevent eviction of the hens is below….

Chicken Defense Before Brentwood City Council, Feb. 9, 2010 by Rev. Austin Miles.

‘Most Honorable Mayor Bob Taylor, distinguished members of the City Council and citizens of the great city of Brentwood. As we examine the particulars of this dispute involving two gentle hens who have become entangled in the web of a beaurcratic housing issue I would ask you to consider carefully the information given with the intent to have two chickens evicted from their home..
 
‘Henny and Penny, the hens, are not here with us tonight. They are suffering anxiety attacks and had to stay home. They have not eaten all day and have not even been able to lay an egg worrying about the final outcome of this case against them. They feel their entire future is out on a limb.
 

‘Several have asked me why I have become involved in this hearing regarding the hens since I do not own any chickens. Let ‘s just say that I have always been a champion for the under-bird.
 
‘I would like to specifically address the complaint sent and published by The Brentwood Press website with copies sent to members of The City council which was submitted by The Eastern Shore Sanctuary and Education Center. This opposing party boasts itself as “The country’s largest coalition of animal sanctuaries involved in the direct care of unwanted chickens.”  They then further claim that “Our shelters have become inundated with calls to take in unwanted chickens.”

‘That point itself does not apply to Henny and Penny. They are NOT unwanted, indeed they WERE adopted so the shelter of this organization will not have these chickens to overburden them as they seem to fear. So this complaint has absolutely no merit

‘The rest of the complaint, from this organization (that is not even located in California)  does not offer one single thing that applies to the hens. Their overall complaint is over ROOSTERS, not hens, which Henny and Penny are. They worry about tight packing of chicks which is cruelty…nothing to do with this situation. We have TWO hens and they were adopted by Ms Kennedy from a woman who no longer wanted them..

‘The other ‘concerns’ is that they will attract mice and rats. They proclaim that the chickens lack professional health care—I kid you not—which seems to be a strange endorsement of Obama’s Health Care Plan.

‘The out-of-area organization that puts out incorrect information falls right into the tall tales of the neighbor who complained that the hens poop 1000 times a day which could get on her shoes which she would track into her house, resulting in diseases that would be spread throughout Brentwood.  1000 times a day!....from a coop, through the wire, across the yard, up and over a high fence which divides the homes and it gets on the neighbor’s shoes. That WOULD require tall tails. 

First of all, even the accusation that the genteel hens poop 1000 times a day is such a physical marvel that it would be listed in The Guiness Book of Records. In fact, at that rate, after one day, the hens would probably disappear altogether. There would be nothing left.

‘Henny and Penny are pets…not messier than any other pet.  Mind you I am not saying that the complainents lied…I’ll just say, in literary terms; Those who complained about the hens elaborated the facts in order to enhance the story line.Thank you.’

Despite a long line of speakers in defense of the hens, the Council declared that Henny and Penny could not live in a residential area which means that they will now be REQUIRED to cross the road. For their sake, please don’t demand an explanation. The hens were not available for comment. They are in seclusion. Even so, history will long remember the day of The Great Chicken Trail of Brentwood. It was a real hoot.

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