Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Sunday, February 28, 2010

MilesTones • MilesTones Saturday Night Special Feature—Naked Sled Contest—Boozing Bishop-Politics..More…

On this day in 1801, The District of Columbia was placed under the jurisdiction of Congress. So THAT’S why that city is so messed up…a recent headline in a London Newspaper (The Guardian) advised: “Americans Stocking Up For End Of World.” (?) If the end of the world is really coming, what’s the point of stocking up things? And Atheists have offered to take care of family dogs when the Rapture occurs (we kid you not). However, the atheists are wrong on a lot of counts. Little dogs DO go to heaven which my coming book will prove. And then there is this…..

Obama has announced that he is taking charge of the Great Lakes, stating,” We will have zero tolerance toward future invasions by foreign species such as Asian Carp, a huge ravenous fish that has overrun portions of the Mississippi River system and is spreading to places like The Great lakes.”

The One then spoke tough stating that “I am holding federal agencies accountable for the plan. We are committed to creating a new standard of care that will leave the Great Lakes better for the next generation.” If only he would apply this logic to our border security. Not to worry. The Libs are asking us to “just give Obama time”. We thoroughly agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

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In Germany (according to Thelocal), the Bishop of the Protestant Churches there, Margot Kaufmann (yes a woman), got her Heineken in a jam, for drunk driving and was duly busted. (C’mon-don’t make more of that than was intended!).  The Boozing Bishop has resigned. I’ve said it before and will say it again,that women should never be given…...ahh never mind!

Some screen actors are petitioning to have the Academy Award given to Al Gore for his fraudulent documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth” withdrawn. When MilesTones told Markus Machado, founder of a new website going up, http://www.theamericansoapbox.us, about this, and why MilesTones agreed that Gore’s award should be yanked, he disagreed, saying, “I think he very much deserved the Academy Award. That was the best acting I’ve ever seen.”

Now we hear from the monastary that Paulaner monks in Bavaria have begun brewing an extra alcoholic beer (for monk’s use ) to observe Lenten with. How’s that again? Wouldn’t Lent be the time to abstain from drinking alcoholic beverages?  This annual ritual is called the Starkbierziet Tradition which was developed centuries ago with a mission statement declaring that drinking highly alcoholic beer helps them in their fasting for Lent. This might explain why so many monks are chubby and stay that way while “fasting.’ This item in the German paper, Thelocal, resulted in a letter to the editor stating, “Sounds like my kind of religion.”

Germany just had a naked sledding contest. That’s right, the 30 participants gathered on the hill in the center of town by the Braunlage’s Town Hall, stripped and took off down the hill, before an audience that quickly grew to 14,000.  It was an unscheduled event that took the Lower Saxony town by (delighted) surprise. Some of the men in attendance tried to exchange email addresses with some of the women partici-pants lacking pants. MilesTones would think that the last thing a naked sledder sliding downhill in freezing weather would want is a fan.

Obama’s staff met with atheists in the White House yesterday, to see how he can better serve them.That seems to be the goal of the present administration, to restrict speaking about God and having all Christian emblems excised. At least he is sincere. He refused to meet with any of the thousands of Christians who had gathered in D.C. but of course, took part in the Islamic Ramadam Holiday, and even had the first meal following the fast, with a Muslim delegation in the White House, and, he has welcomed Hindus .  He does seem to believe in atheists, so at least he really believes in something even though the atheists, whom he strongly supports,believe in nothing, which he believes in…I’m getting a headache…time to take another walk.
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Rev. Austin Miles is a pastor-chaplain in Northern California. He likes to find the funny things in the news to provoke a laugh which gives him new strength to handle the serious stuff he faces daily as a chaplain. Visit his website at: http://www.revaustinmiles.com


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