Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Society • GUEST CHARLIE LYON Tells How You MIGHT be a Republican (!)

You Might Be a Republican if…
by Charlie Lyon:

A friend recently questioned whether young Bernie or Hillary supporters really understood the things they were supporting.  When digging down a little into their “convictions” (if you can avoid saying something that sends them fleeing to their “safe space”) often they actually agree with more traditional views of things.  So we came up with the idea that maybe we could reach them with a little Jeff Foxworthy:

You might be a Republican if:

*You’ve never owned a slave or been a member of the KKK.

*Your group is no more special than my group.

*You don’t think whiny people deserve to go to the front of the​ line.

*You agree that every person deserves to keep what they work for.

*You are learning that Life is Hard and if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger.

*You’re pretty sure choices have consequences.

*You’re real sure people need to own the consequences of their choices.

*You’re certain it is wrong to take stuff from some people and give it to others “just to be fair.”

*You think some ideas are better than other ideas.

*You agree that the ideas that formed America are pretty good ideas and should be preserved.

*Common sense tells you all people should play by the same rules.

*Experience tells you that when everyone plays by the same rules we can trust each other.

*You like being able to trust others.

*You agree that most people are capable of taking care of themselves and Nosy People should mind their own business,
especially if they work for the government.

*You know freedom isn’t free.

*You suspect that people who are offended at every little thing probably need to grow up.

*You know the difference between ‘melting pot’ and ‘salad bowl’.

*You believe America is the most welcoming and generous nation on Earth but those who come here must come on our terms, learn our language, and pledge allegiance to our flag.

*Generally speaking, you like America and don’t think it needs to be ‘fundamentally transformed.’

*You believe honest debate is healthy.

*You avoid debating people whose limited vocabulary reduces them to pointing, grunting and clubbing others to get their ideas across.

*You’re confident in ‘self-evident truth’ and resist efforts to make you accept notions that violate your own sensibilities.

*You view the world’s resources as a gift from a benevolent Creator to be cultivated and cared for in order to abundantly bless mankind.

*You’re convinced that American capitalism is the best way to make those resources affordable and available to the most people.

*You think ‘global citizenship’ is a goofy, unworkable and dangerous idea.

*And you might be a Republican if You believe that Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness are rights given by God and are worth pledging the best we have to ensure everyone has a fair chance to enjoy.

So feel free to engage your local millennial.  If nothing else, it may just strengthen your convictions!

And, apologies Mr. Foxworthy…

Published by Permission of the Author Charlie Lyon and Capitol Hill Outsider

© Copyright by Charlie Lyon, 2017. All rights reserved.

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