Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

MilesTones • Reader Writes!

As a staunch supporter of Writes for The People, on his day, the readers take over MilesTones.  But first….A Glossy Sheen!  Charlie Sheen has been fired from the hit comedy series, 2 1/2 Men. which narrows it down to…2 ....and making his troubles worse, Sheen’s got the witches mad at him. Witches in Salem, Massachusetts, are gathering to perform a ceremony of power to encircle Sheen for calling himself a Warlock. They are really ticked. The broomstick bandoliers huffed that this is a Witch term meaning peace…not war as Sheen suggests by his careless useage of the sacred word.  Sheesh!  Can’t say anything these days. . Sudden Thawt Dept:  This writer, who was once his guest, never questioned why the program was called, Larry King Live. Should have figured out that he is so old that they needed to make a point to declare his immediate state of being.  Now the readers take over;:

Will Byrns, editor of America’s Good news published at Mountain View Christian Center in Oakley, California, sent us a notice that in East Texas, Pastor Kerry (he goes by the single name)  has been appointed as ‘Chaplain to Hunters.’  Since Dick Cheney is out there with a gun in his hand, it makes sense to have a chaplain handy.

Our favorite pastor, lawyer and radio host, Richard Lee of Spokane, Washington declares that a friend said this to him; “My daughter just walked into the living room and said, “Dad,” cancel my allowance, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPad, and jewelry to the charity shop. Sell my car and take my front door key and throw me out of the house.  Well, she didn’t actually put it like that. She said, “Dad, this is my new boyfriend, Mohammed.”

MilesTones contributor and researcher based in Pittsburgh, Helen Trautman, CEO of the lecture bureau, Results Unlimited, and the star of a new one-woman show, “Lydia,” sent me this clip with the headline: WORKER DEAD AT DESK FOR FIVE DAYS. The piece opens with:

“From the New York Times: Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for five days before anyone asked if he was feeling okay. George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proof-reader at a New York firm for 30 years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other workers. He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturday morning when an office cleaner asked why he was working during the weekend.

“His boss, Elliot Wachiaski, said, ‘George was always the first guy in each morning and the last to leave at night, so no one found it unusual that he was in the same position all that time and didn’t say anything. He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself.’  A post mortem examination revealed that he had been dead for five days after suffering a coronary. George was proofreading manuscripts of medical textbooks when he died.”

While MilesTones is somewhat suspicious of this story it does serve to remind us to give our co-workers a nudge occasionally. The moral of the story seems to be; Don’t work too hard. Nobody notices anyway.  And too, perhaps this COULD happen.

Rev. Ed Berkey (retired in Florida) who is a frequent contributor to MilesTones, would have us believe that Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghan woman and asked, “Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?” The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said,, “Land mines.” Pastor Ed goes on to proclaim:  “The moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go), behind every man….there’s a smart woman!”  Makes sense to us.

Looking over the shoulder at recent news, On Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phil came out to make his annual weather prediction. According to the tradition, if he sees his shadow, that means an early Spring will await us.  And, according to news reports from that freezing snow-sleet-howling wind and ice day, he saw his shadow meaning that Spring will come early this year, which might have been prompted by the ‘global warming’ crowd. The way it really happened is that the groundhog was coaxed out of his hole, took one look, said “Are you kidding?” and dove back into the hole. Al Gore would never be able to persuade Punxsutawney Phil that climate-heat is about to overtake us.

It’s time to put on an overcoat and go out for another walk.

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