Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Wednesday, June 17, 2015

MilesTones • TransGenders-TransRacial-TransOBAMA??

It has been a crazy week. A male athlete, with his toolbox still in place, insists he is now and has always been a woman. A white woman suddenly announced she is black and demands to be recognized as such. Another white woman, Elizabeth Warren, said she is Native American. It seems everybody these days are really somebody else. Are our eyes deceiving us? Or has our perception abilities crashed and burned?

So we now have transgender and transracial individuals.  The dictionary defines, Trans, as “a change in structure, appearance and character.” With these guidelines, Obama definitely is what he says he is, Transparent. The dictionary defines ‘transparent,’ as: “Something that is clear enough to see through.” Eureka a truth!  We can see right through him. Why can’t the rest of America?

Confession: When I was a little boy I wanted to be Chinese. I kid you not. The closest I came to that identity was eating in a Chinese restaurant. So maybe these ideas are stitched into the tapestry of life. Many people want to be somebody else. That is what film actors do all the time, only they get paid huge sums of money to be who they pretend to be.

The use of words is another confusing tool box of life. Words can mean one thing for some, while understood entirely differently by others. 

A few years back, a Japanese woman called the TWA Travel Center on Fifth Avenue in New York for flight information. The woman asked, “Can you tell me how long it takes to fly from New York to Tokyo? The travel agent said, “Just a minute.” “Thank you” the Japanese woman said and hung up.

Many paid newspaper ads prompts a second look. This one appeared nationally in various cities on Tuesday May 26, 2015: It was a quarter page ad about “doctors looking beyond Viagra.” The first paragraph stated this:  ED remedies face stiff competition from natural compound; ‘standout results,’ say users.  Perhaps the copywriters should be a bit more thorough before publishing something.

Carol Lee Olson, co-writer of the thigh-slapping new book, “The Road Trip.’ (Published by Xlibrs, sold by Barnes&Noble and Amazon) sent me a list of customer complaints received by “Thomas Cook Vacations.” Again, these are actual complaints:

1. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

2. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time—this should be banned.”

8. “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

10. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

It’s a wild world out there. As for me, I’m going out for another long walk.

MilesTones Editor’s Note: Rev. Austin Miles is a very unusual high profile conservative. He is NOT running for president.

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