Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Sunday, December 13, 2009

MilesTones • Saturday Night Special, Newsfluffs, Tiger,Copenhagen

We begin tonight’s MilesTones with a story on page A10 in today’s East County Times (California), which tells about a homeowner’s dilemma. The photo caption says this: “A gate to the Peppertree subdivision is locked. The developer abandoned the project after some moved in. Donna Pringle and her dog, Fiona, play in front of A LOCKED CLUBHOUSE THAT HAS BEEN LOCKED.” (!) That’s about as definite as you can get. Then, there is this gem that was published earlier, along with Tiger, Letterman, Copenhagan and more….

Another news classic was published by the Times this past Wednesday (pg.AA2), headlined; “Man Pleads Guilty in Motorcycle Crash Case.” The astonishing report states: “A Sausalito man pleaded guilty Tuesday in a drunken motorcycle crash that ejected him and his girlfiend from Orinda onto a San Rafael freeway onramp.” How’s that again?

Figuring the crash occurred at the city lines, a map was checked which shows that the cities are miles apart. They must have hit pretty hard to fly through the air at that distance and then land on concrete. Bet that hurt! Since they were both sloshed, maybe not.

It took several reads to finally understand that the dutiful reporter was attempting to inform us that the girlfriend was FROM Orinda. It’s back to journalism school for those writers at The Times.

The Dotted Lines:  The Copenhagen UN Conference to ‘combat global warming’ had to cancel a meeting a couple of days ago due to the frigid snowstorm that blanketed the world and brought things to a standstill….today’s Small Business News tells of a “prayer business” on the internet (Prayer Helpers) run by Joel Gross (25) who charges $9.99 per prayer (and he is an agnostic)...Joel GROSS at least is named properly, even though when his time of judgement comes, the most expensive prayer on earth will not keep him out of hell…..lots of flack over a North Carolina atheist being sworn in as a city councilman…unbelievable!... the Tiger Woods Scoreboard has now chalked up #12. Isn’t that two points over par?

Hear Ye people, don’t be so quick to judge! (Not out of the Woods), Tiger, is simply living scripturally, following the admonition of The Apostle Paul who wrote: “Be instant in season, out of season;” (2 Tim 4:2)  Tiger has proved that he is, even though he has not finished his course.

What he does not seem to understand, however, is that with his dalliances, he will have to, “be ready always to give an answer to every man who asketh you….” (1 Peter: 3:15.)  And a lot are asking these days.

The Tiger along with David Letterman, house within themselves,  an active procreation instinct that constantly rises (C’mon now…don’t make that sentence into something that was not intended!)

The Gaucherie Galloping Golfer and Letterman had lunch recently in New York at the Four Seasons. They were seated instantly. Then, they went to see the show, Promises Promises. From there they went to a cocktail lounge for a couple of rounds and an extra score.

Rumor has it that Obama is planning a stimulis package for therapists (not Tiger—he has enough stimulation) to enable them to hold a group counseling session for Tiger’s mistresses. The event will be held in Yankee Stadium.

With a fix of MilesTones, we can now deal with the other issues of the day.

 

 

 

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