Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Sunday, January 10, 2010

MilesTones • Saturday Night Special-Global Warming-No Pants Subway Day-Sex Education-Gore’s Oscar and More

Brrr! Al Gore’s Global Warming is about to freeze us to death. Even hearty Germans are shivering in the the coldest climate seen in 25 years. All of Florida is freezing. Yes, Ireland and Scotland too. But not to worry. Gore’s global tax supporters in the scientific community have issued a statement that the chilling temperatures and record snow falls are directly connected to the effects of global warming. (!)  That should clear things up. And coming up, No Pants Subway Day—Sex Education—Gore’s Oscar and more…..

Dotted Lines: This writer wears two hearing aids. Before wearing them it was necessary to go to a hearing aid class. It was exciting at the graduation when they shouted out our names….this is no bull, Obama sez that, “The buck stops here.”  Slight problem. The One blames President Bush for all the problems including the freezing temperatures, so it seems more accurately for him to say, “The buck stopped at Bush.”....Here is an uplifting item about a lot of media hoo-roar over a bra posting on Facebook. The papers are all over it. A real scandal if there ever was one, and it’s hooking a lot of readers. MilesTones plans to keep abreast of all developments….the BBC announced to the UK that “the country is urged by the Lords to take humanism and unbelief seriously.” Really! ...another report from across the pond informs us that the School Secretary over there gave orders that “Parents are forbidden to withdraw students from the Sex Education Class.  Looking closer, MilesTones discovered that the name of the School Secretary is (drumroll) Ed Balls…...moving right along…. Helen Trautman, CEO of Pittsburgh’s Results Unlimited, sent us an email declaring that a national movement has been organized to declare No Pants Day for subway and bus riders on Saturday, January 10th..YIKES! That’s today!  We wonder if underwear is optional? This needs to be clearly undiestood and aDRESSED!....and according to “The Local,” a musical about Obama is about to open in Germany, which is titled, “Hope”. Didn’t they leave out four letters?


For the first time in a long time we can say, Hooray for Hollywood!  Some actors are petitioning to have the Academy Awards withdrawn from Al Gore. Not only was his entire documentary; Inconvenient Truth, total political propaganda, it is without substance. So much so that schools in London refused to show it in classes because, they stated, ” the information is scientifically inaccurate.” Aside from that, the documentary was only so-so by production standards and not worthy of any kind of film award. And the second political Oscar for Gores deception went to the music composed (?) and played for his documentary. This writer loves music and is easy to please, but the dreadful music offered in this phony mocumentary can only be described by biblical terms…“It stinketh!”
St. John 11:39.

The Uncertainty of The English Language Dept: The German on-line paper, The Local, reports a rather unusual story, according to their headline, “German Driver Quits Dakar Rally After Fatal Accident.” (!)  We’d quit too under the circumstances. But to give a newspaper interview after you had your fatal crash? This is getting spooky. The Dakar Rally is a major car race in Argentina. It was explained to us that the car driven by Micro Schultis went out of control, ran into the crowd and killed a woman and injured 5 others. Ok that makes more sense. 


It’s not just the public publications that are affected by the uncertainty of the English language. Emails are too, as this communication received from noted wildlife and enviromental journalist, Cathy Taibi shows.  She wrote us to discuss her current story on canaries and how difficult it was to put it together. Said she: “After the time I spent writing it to begin with, plus filming the birds/taking photos…” That part of the sentence really jumped out.  We had no idea that canaries were THAT smart!  MilesTones would like to see that video.

And speaking of writing, why do so many people confuse there with their?  The useage is: “THERE go the ducks”. “THEIR possessions were carted away”. Another one is found in many newspapers: “John Anderson went out for a walk and turned up missing.” (!)  If he turned up, how can he be missing?  And too,as the dumbing down of our society and language continues, more and more people are again using the word “ain’t” which the dictionary at one time defined as “An improper usage of the word, aren’t, or, are not.” Another usage that puts sand in our Vaseline is to see an actress now referred to as ‘an actor..”  Hand it to Hispanics, they honor their language. Another confusion of words, by profesional writers, is mis-using, “to” and “too”. You go TO the store (destination), and your wife goes TOO (Also).

A recent TV listing heralded a movie titled, “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” It’s labeled as “a Fantasy.” I suppose if you could find any gentlemen this day and age, it would indeed be a fantasy AND extraordinary.

We tried to watch, It’s A Wonderful Life, over the holidays. We say ‘tried’ because it took three hours to see the 80 minute film which was not aired in full.. The opening advised viewers: “This Film Has Been Modified (cut) To Stay Within The TV Format.” In other words they cut out a lot of the meat of the movie to make room for more commercials. Next time I will simply rent a copy of the film. It should be criminal to hack out scenes of a movie (throwing it out of context) in order to squeeze in more product hawking. Arrrrgh!  To those who do this, may the fleas of a thousand camels invade their armpits.

Another movie we tried to watch was Sound of Music, which brought back some memories, since I visited the actual places where it was filmed in Austria, including the Von Trapp home. A special memory was when Maria Von Trapp was a guest on The PTL Club where I also was a guest. Mrs. Von Trapp was a little old lady by this time, and was she ever feisty!  At one point in her interview she suddenly leaned toward Jim Bakker and said, “...And what did you say your name was young man?”

Tim Vaughn has photography studios in Oakley, and Brentwood, California and is considered the best wedding photographer in the business. He also is a Christian minister. At one wedding he was to shoot, the Justice of The Peace scheduled to perform it suddenly became ill, called in that she would be unable to do the service. Not to worry. Mr. Vaughn also Rev. Vaughn, handed his camera to his wife, went up, and performed the wedding ceremony, then went back, picked up his camera and resumed shooting. By the way, MilesTones is informed that the wedding he did on the spur-of-the-moment and off-the-cuff was….wonderful!


Before drawing the curtain, last Wednesday Vaughn was master of ceremonies for the graduation of students in the School of Theology at Mountain View Christian Center in Oakley. Getting swept up in the worship, he stated that he sings Amazing Grace, especially the third verse while riding his motorcycle. MilesTones hopes that when he is in traffic that he doesn’t close his eyes and lift up both hands when he gets to that third verse.

Have a great weekend.



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