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Rev. Austin Miles, a chaplain in Northern California is a writer and historian. He is the author of Santa's Surprising Origins, a story that received worldwide circulation and resulted in him being cast in the 2004 Hallmark Christmas Movie titled, Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. He played the mall Santa who magically received the gift of sign language.

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Thursday, July 28, 2016

MilesTones • Write Brain Super Dooper Blooopers

It is always good to start each day with a laugh. Indeed, I would never leave home without it. My first laugh of the day is found in the local morning newspapers, which usually keeps me lighthearted for the rest of the day.
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For instance, one news story told of a truck driver in California on a busy freeway rushing to his destination, when the merchandise he was transporting spilled out on the road while rounding a curve, causing a two hour traffic delay. The driver was delivering a truck full of condoms.

With great though and journalistic skill, here was the headline The Chronicle crafted: “Truck Driver Spills His Load on Busy Freeway.”  I had to pick myself up from the floor when I saw that one. Every day those headlines pop up and some stories are so botched up in general that you can’t help but laugh.

Pay close attention to your morning headlines and some of the news descriptions of the happenings of each day and what you detect may make your day a fun day. 

My anonymous minister friend, who also has a sense of humor, helped me gather up some real classic blooper headlines. Don’t be drinking coffee when you read these:

***Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day.
   
***Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really?

***Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far

***Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

***Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s

***Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial

***War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect

***If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?

***Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought it

***Enfield( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something

***Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

***Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge

***New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?

***Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans.

***Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

***Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again

***Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is….
***Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

The Bible tells us that It is good for your health to have a sense of humor.Take heed: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones”
Proverbs 17:23.
Have a fun day.  MilesTones

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