Thursday, January 28, 2010
MilesTones • Trial Leaves Chickens Out On A Limb
The Great Chicken Trial of Brentwood took place before the Brentwood City Council last night. A packed chambers witnessed the historic event along with media. The defendants, Henny and Penny, were present, even though in confinement. The two chickens became the focus of world wide attention after a neighbor raised her wings in attack-mode and complained about the hens before the City Planning Commission. It was then sent over to be heard by the City Council for what was to be a final hearing and decision. However, there were surprises…
Anticipation filled the chambers as the chickens were brought into the room to face the charges lodged against them. Kimberly Kennedy, the hen whisperer, escorted them in along with her daughter, Alexa. Council members leaned forward behind the great desk (forward behind?) to study the objects of that case carefully to determine if the hens had a criminal look or attitude.
Attendees were impressed by the decorum of the hens who were orderly, polite, clucked softly and dressed properly with little skirt diapers. It was also observed that Henny and Penny were attentive to personal hygene and had been shampooed, making them look very feminine and chick…CHIC!.
Council members discussed the bill (beak?) about chickens being legally allowed to dwell in residential area back yards, and debated how many square feet the backyard should be for people who keep chickens.
Public comments were opened and a string of people, one after another, took the podium to speak about the measure. The six speakers all agreed that the hens were of splendid character and stated their support for the civil rights of chickens.
Yes, MilesTones was there too as a character witness for the hens and stated that the chickens were not a threat politically to anyone since they are not right wingers…or left wingers….but neutral.
The neighbor with the ruffled feathers who made the complaint, that we will call, “Ms.X” , skipped the hearing. Not before organizing an email avalanche to everybody in the neighborhood and every member of the city council with charges that the hens poop in everybody’s yard, bring diseases, attract wild animals and that everybody’s lives are in danger as long as the hens are there. “Plus”, she saith, “They stink.” She did it all anonymously.
However one of the neighbors did some good investigative work and learned who had actually been behind the emails. Yes, it was Ms. X and further investigation by that other neighbor showed that Ms. X is a psychologist. But Ms.X didn’t show up for the hearing. She was hiding under her table. That is what we call a ‘grenade thrower,’ one who throws the grenade and then runs to safety and hides while it explodes.
One councilman was not present. When it came time for the vote, two councilmen voted for the chickens and two voted against them. And one of those, to everyone’s surprise, was Mayor Bob Taylor who last Thanksgiving wore a turkey suit (after losing a bet) for a holiday event, which everyone felt would give him understandng of what it feels like to be a bird. (The word turkey was not used…Mayor Bob is a friend).
So the vote was a tie which locked the proceedings. The trial will meet for another vote next month with the absent councilman having the swing vote. This means a new defense will be prepared as the tense community awaits the final verdict of two chickens who did not even cross the road. However,that grumpy neighbor DID..
A feature story was in the area newspapers today. See the Ch.2 News Report that aired last night on The Ten O’Clock News; The link: